Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Monday, January 30, 2012

birthdays & wishes.

Today was my birthday. And I must say that I am so filled with joy and love from the warmth of others that I wish I could somehow pass on this uncontainable feeling so that others could have even an ounce of what unspeakable joy resides in me at this moment. I had a wish as I blew out my candle, and with keeping tradition, I shan't tell you. But I will say that I wish, on this day, that each of you feels loved and appreciated. Something that I love about birthdays is that it's a day to celebrate the life of someone and show them that they are loved. At the same time, though, I think, "Why should it just be one day? Why don't we give that much love and encouragement to the people we love everyday?" Well, everyday would be overkill and would take the sincerity out of that love perhaps; but I think even once a week, once a month, every few months... let someone know how loved they are, whether it's their birthday or not. So many times I see someone in the store who I think is beautiful, or has a cute outfit, or is nice, or any random thing that I admire. My fault is that I don't commend them for their good efforts. I just watch and keep my comments to myself. I remember one time this summer however when I was in the store, I saw this girl who was just beautiful - hardly any makeup and just naturally beautiful. I wasn't going to say anything, but then something compelled me to tell her what I thought. So, in a rather awkward way, as we were both looking at hair products I said, "I know this may sound weird, but don't take it oddly.. you are absolutely beautiful. I just thought you should know that." Yeah, I felt like I was making a fool of myself. To my great surprise however, tears filled her eyes, she touched by shoulder and slowly spoke, "Thank you so much. You have no idea what that means to me.  I haven't felt attractive in so long and no one has complimented me on anything in so long. You really just made my day." And that was all it took. I felt like giving her a hug and consoling her, but being on the shampoo aisle was a little weird... so we chatted a few minutes before I left. 

But that made me think, there is beauty in everyone and I think that when you see it, you shouldn't be afraid to tell someone what you think, because you have no idea how it could impact their lives. 

So for everyone who sent me birthday wishes, I am deeply touched and filled with utter bliss at much affection people have given me. It is sheer joy and a blessing to my soul. And it really did make my day. 

Each and every one of you is beautiful and so lovely, and I wish that you could see the beauty that I see   in you. 
So happy day to you. 
I wish you the BEST! 

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count... it's the life in your years." 
Abraham Lincoln 

Sunday, January 22, 2012


It's strange how you can feel okay at one moment and the next, terrible. Strange how your heart and mind can seem as one and then also as different as can be. My mind makes up its mind as to what it should set out to do, but my heart comes and disagrees - my emotions disrupt my focus and determination. At other times, my heart decides how it should truly feel and be, and then my mind confronts it - my logic gets the better of me and tugs at my sincerity and honesty in what I do. Isn't that twisted?

It still, and always will, amaze me that God gave us a choice in our lives. We are not programmed creations of His, going about with no control over our lives. We live and breathe by His mercy, and we are able to make everyday decisions. In one sense, I want to come out and say, "Thank you! You gave me a choice! You gave me freewill! You did it because you didn't want to force my love for you - because then it wouldn't be true love. What an amazing God of passion and romance you are!" Yet another part of me wants to cry out and yell, "Why!? Freewill!? We could have just followed you had you given the command! Then there wouldn't be all the horrid things that there are in the world today! Then my mind wouldn't be so torn as to what is wrong and right, what I should do, and what my self wants to do."

But that wouldn't be love. Love wouldn't be this passionate, careful, erotic, patient, fleeting, intimate, heated, enraged emotion that overwhelms us. It would be no feeling at all - only response.

It order to accept this beautiful idea of love, we must agree to take the ugly side of love, as well as the good. Is it not like that with the rest of life? Perhaps my head and my heart are saying completely different things. But even though there is a choice, and I must choose at some moment in life, I am grateful for choice. It can be a burden, but it is one of the greatest gifts and freedoms given to man. Rejoice in the choices that must be made. And accept that there are good and bad ones. Isn't that to be expected? If you listen to God, He'll make sure that your head and your heart are focused on Him, and a perfect answer will be sprung from that.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

the Colour Purple.

Shug: More than anything God love admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug: No, not vain. Just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don't notice it.
Celie: You saying it just wanna be loved like it say in the Bible?
Shug: Yeah, Celie. Everything wanna be loved. Us sing and dance, and holla just wanting to be loved. Look at them trees. Notice how the trees do everything people do to get attention... except walk? [they laugh]
Shug: Oh Miss Celie, I feels like singing!


"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34


I think so often we go through life not appreciating it. Instead we regret the past and worry about the future. What kind of life is that? So much time ends up being spent reliving mistakes and stressing over things that aren't in your control. How much do you get accomplished when your attention is so tied up with things that aren't important?

Today you should be happiest. In this moment you should be happiest. Look around you. So many worries, so many cares....put them aside. Look outside.

Where I live, the weather is chilling to the bone, the grass is brown and dry, leaves have fallen to the ground and blown away...the earth looks ripped of its beauty. Even the sky is cloudy and overbearing. I don't enjoy that.

I look again.

Branches. Stripped of their beauty. Gray bark. No color. Pitiful and naked. Bare. Reaching towards the sky with their limbs swaying in the wind, pointing to the One that made them. Their arms against the silhouette of a deep purple sky, clouded with rolls of lavender cotton balls. They are strained and broken and bent...and yet they are somehow breathtaking, reminding me that there is beauty in each day. I must grab it. I must cherish it.

Enjoy each moment and carry that beauty with you where you go, because tomorrow will have it's own worries (as does today) and you'll need beauty to keep you going. To remind you that God is GOOD. That His creation is GOOD. And that He has already faced the battles you are fighting from yesterday, today and tomorrow and He has already conquered them. Hear that? He CONQUERED them. VANQUISHED. THWARTED. PREVAILED by His own blood that dripped from a cross as He hung and told you with His own words, "It. Is. Finished."

This is what He tells me... "Enjoy that purple sky. Love that colour purple. For it was created for you to love and enjoy. Just as I created you, for Me to love and enjoy. "

Monday, January 2, 2012