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Monday, July 9, 2012

i like being broken.

There are just some people who seem to be naturally "with it". What do I mean by this? Well ask yourself what "with it" means and you'll probably start to think of people who seem to have the works. They are bright and brilliant; charming and winsome; talented and together; cool and collected; graceful...beguiling in their aura of unperturedness and placidity. And yes, I am using a thesaurus while writing this. Point to be made, I see so many people who just seem lovely; they are beautiful, inside and out; they are talented and artistic, they wear adorable clothes, and as if by chance, it all looks natural. They have beautiful handwriting, nice skin, good hair and nails, smarts and intelligence, motivation and determination. Bottom line, they are "with it" and I can't help but be envious. Even as I'm writing, a silent voice is quelling my frantic mind and asking the simple question, "Does it matter, Sarah?" It's not a question from my mind, but His. Oh goodness, no. It doesn't matter at all. But I suppose it's nice. In reality, I know that no one is like the words I used to above - at least not all of them together. Those picture perfect models are saved for Hollywood's motion pictures. The idea is nice, though. Even if that idea of perfection were possible, would I want it? I think not. Because that's not who I am. I am broken. And as odd as it sounds, I like being broken because I am constantly reminded that I need fixing. I am constantly reminded that I am a true scoundrel; that I am a cheat; that I am nothing. I am also reminded that He constantly makes much of Himself through me and my deplorable weaknesses, and that keeps me in my place with no room to boast, save for in Him alone. 

2 comments:

  1. You know, you have been given a gift, dear girl. You have a very wise, genuine, lovely soul and the best part is the fact that reason for that is that God has "fixed" you to be that way. Every wise, genuine, lovely ounce shows the beauty and love of the Lord. It is an honor to know you and be able to read the things God puts on your heart.

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  2. Carrie sent me this link, and I really enjoyed reading what you had to say! So insightful and of course verbose, which I love! Thanks for sharing your heart my friend! I can't wait to hang out more with you and get to see it so much clearer!

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