Tuesday, September 11, 2012

time & life.

Time is such a precious thing to experience. It can't be kept in a bottle and saved up, but it is used constantly and always a welcome gift. It's something that I've been experiencing in a whole new way recently. 

There is always a struggle to balance well the time that is allotted to each individual; hence our calendars, schedules, notes, post its, etc. We try to keep ourselves on task by having reminders and filling in our time slots. Perhaps it isn't true of everyone, but I think people like to be busy. I know I do. Not overwhelmingly so, but enough so that I feel productive and somewhat special, I guess you could say. A busy life leaves little room for feeling alone, and maybe that's why so many of us try to stay busy. 

But mayhap it's for another reason. I read a quote recently that caught my attention, not because I utterly agreed with it...but because in some odd way, I absolutely agreed with it.

"Dear God," she prayed, "let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have to much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost." 
Betty Smith

Obviously I'm not keen on being the bad parts of this quote...I don't want to be deceitful or a liar or a sinner...and yet I am so entirely just that. But I do want to truly live every moment that is granted to me on this earth. I believe that time is never wasted. Sure, there are better things to do with your time (with my time), but everything you do is all simply apart of the Sovereignty of God and creates who you are becoming. You can regret things, but you cannot change certain things - only you look back, learn from  your mistakes and try to make more calculated choices as you walk through life. Leave the bad and take the good.

Life is such a wondrous thing, but honestly, there are many moments when I just wish it would stop. That the clock would stop ticking and time would stand still just for an instant, just so I could breathe in and out without the weight of worries on my shoulders.

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back."
Harvey MacKay

We don't know where the future will take us, even if we have life plans that try to steer us in a specific direction (as I do), but we do know that it goes on. Things will happen when we don't expect them, little surprises and pleasant things. Whether they turn out to be big parts of your future, or just fragments, enjoy what they are in the time that they come and don't fret about the unknown future. There is a Known and All knowing God who is pansophical in that. 
I say the above and yet I'm shaking to the core at what is to come when my plane takes off this Saturday for Paris. Thank goodness I have a moment now to think, breathe and write my thoughts in English. 
I cannot say exactly where I'm headed, what will happen and how it will commence, but I'll just keep going; and I would encourage anyone to do just the same. Maybe it's the five year old in me, but now all I want to sing is "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming..." There. Now you can have it stuck in your head too. :) 
To end on a good note...I think I'll let Tolkein finish up while I finish the tea in my cup. 

"The road goes on and on down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, and I must follow, if I can, pursuing with eager feet, until it joins some larger way where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say."
J.R.R. Tolkien

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